My 50-ish year-old peers and I are experiencing a revelation: unlike how many of us viewed our parents at this age, we recognize that we're still growing and evolving. The idea of being “fully formed” adults sounds limiting, even suffocating. Our realization underscores the importance of lifelong learning and the value of mentorship at every career and life stage.
Through the JEWEL Project: Joining and Empowering Women through the Exploration of Lived Experience, I've interviewed a diverse set of nearly 50 women leaders about the influences who have shaped their careers. These conversations have surfaced a differentiating attribute that the most impactful mentors have harnessed: intentionality. Their purposeful approaches to mentorship manifest across four key themes.
Embracing Humility and Authenticity
These thoughtful mentors understand that they offer a single experienced perspective, not universal expertise. They openly share their struggles, mistakes, and even instances of good fortune that have contributed to their success. Their vulnerability creates an environment where mentees feel comfortable being open and honest.
A marketing expert praises a mentor whose openness about his own insecurities, despite commercial success, was a critical component of their early relationship-building. A public company in-house counsel candidly admits that her career path was influenced by taking and excelling on the LSAT before sitting for the GMAT, highlighting the role of chance in her journey. By admitting their shortcomings and recognizing their luck, these mentors come across as relatable humans who wrestle with challenges and decisions, rather than infallible figures destined for success.
Viewing Mentorship as a Two-Way Street
While a role model may inspire from afar, a mentor engages closely with the mentee, understanding their unique talents, skills, and values. That mentor shares ideas aligned with the mentee’s unique potential. A multidimensional mentoring relationship often results in mutual learning and growth. One CFO notes that mentoring relationships help to bridge generational gaps in the workplace, fostering understanding in both directions.
My research has also surfaced how mentorships evolve overtime, with age gaps becoming less significant and roles shifting as careers progress. In one instance, a CEO shares how her former mentee’s accelerated career progression transformed their relationship into a reciprocal one, where they now regularly seek advice from each other, creating a "yin and yang" dynamic.
Leveraging Personal Experience and Self-Reflection
Effective mentors often draw from their own experiences, both positive and negative, to guide others. They strive to provide insights they wish they had received earlier in their careers or the support to see themselves in roles they had previously viewed as out of reach. A social entrepreneur sees herself inspiring the next generation of diverse scientists, passing on the passion she discovered in her field.
Another leader focuses on discussing work-life balance with younger women colleagues, addressing a gap she experienced earlier in her career. Her female mentors did not feel at liberty to talk as freely as male colleagues about the harmony of work and family. She deliberately extends herself to younger women to talk about various forms of flexibility, as well as the raw truths of one working mom’s challenges and rewards.
Seeking Mentorship Throughout Their Careers
Leaders recognize the value they’ve provided to their mentees. Even at later career stages, they seek mentorship that fuels their own continued growth and expands their already experienced perspectives. During a career transition, a former banker sought mentors who were authentic “to their core" during a shift after 15 years in the financial sector. A physician leader engaged an unlikely mentor, the chair of an adjacent department, who had a reputation for “ruffling people’s feathers.” She wanted to develop new skills around driving her staff to achieve higher levels of innovation and success. Her new mentor pushed her to ask them driving questions that intentionally yet respectfully made them uncomfortable.
Recognizing the absence of mentorship as her career advanced, a public company C-level executive approached a board member for guidance. She craved that infusion of new ideas yet was admittedly nervous to make the ask. Whether prompted by a promotion, an industry change, or even planning for retirement, seeking mentorship remains a valuable exercise at every career stage.
---
When I ask leaders about the people who have most impacted them, they often respond with, “Where do I start?” They attribute their success to the numerous influences throughout their careers, fostering a desire to do the same for the next generation.
There are no limits to the insights and development that mentorship can provide, both professionally and personally. Whether you’re early on or at the prime of your career, mentorship is a critical element of continuous growth. Even though it may seem daunting at first, go ahead and ask that potential mentor to coffee. You may walk into a conversation that changes the way you see yourself and your future, no matter where you are in your career.
Comments